I was tasked with attempting to write something regarding  my experiences with Martha Louise Livingstone.  For the past four weeks I have been working hard to be to be true to her. As an actor I want to be true to the text and make use of all the wonderful things the playwright has given me. It’s daunting.  There is so much.  She lives with me every waking minute of every day. My goal has been to be honest and authentic.

Martha is penitent and engages the audience as confessor. This role is thrust upon the audience. The play demands it.  Mea culpa…

This process of creating Martha Livingstone, for me, has been many things…challenging, enriching, terrifying, joyful, frustrating, gratifying, exhausting, and supremely humbling. I am grateful for the opportunity to be humbled.  Let’s begin…

– Kathleen Reilly

What does the Catholic Church have to do with you?”  Yes, and while we’re at it, what does this play have to do with the Catholic Church, for that matter.  Because, alright fine, let’s just take a minute and acknowledge it: Agnes of God is a play with a reputation, in some circles, at least, for being “anti-Catholic”.  On the wall of our event page for auditions, somebody took it upon themselves to comment “Just what we need, another anti-Catholic play.”  Honestly, I was too wrapped up in making sure everything went well during auditions to give it much mind.   But the question hangs there- is the show anti-Catholic?  Agnes experiences severe trauma in the convent, and it’s covered up.  Mother Miriam lies to the doctor.  The doctor tells several unpleasant stories about her childhood involving nuns.  Does that make the show, as a whole, anti-Catholic?  I truly believe the playwright was much more concerned with deeper, more existential questions than, “Is the governing body of the Catholic Church a backward parliament of ravens?”  Lord knows I am.  I care about these three women and how they strive to find connection, and if they succeed or fail.  The Church stuff?  That’s all just window dressing.

– Nate Beynon

When you are used to being the comedic relief it is difficult to just be real.  It has taken several nights of rehearsal to get that through my head.  One night Nate called me out, “lower your voice, you are using it as a mask.  Like a character to protect yourself from being uncomfortable.”  It was one of the hardest things to hear because it was true.  But that is what Nate is pushing us to find, what is true to the story, not some character that we’ve made up.  Chipping away at the “idea” has been a difficult journey.  As the “funny man” it is extremely vulnerable, and I’m trying to lean into all of that and let Agnes come alive.

– Hollie Miller (Sister Agnes)

Tick tock…..The second act of Agnes of God centers around two sessions of hypnotism that the doctor orchestrates.  These scene are wonderful bits of theater.  Past traumatic events in Agnes’s life are acted out, heartbreaking revelations shatter illusions- Imagine a the prison scenes in Silence of the Lambs combined with the last scene of Carrie.  This is high melodrama brought right to edge of credibility.  There’s a reason these scenes are favorites of acting classes.  Hence, the metronome.  I don’t think we’ll be using it during the actual dialog, as it’s more than a little distracting.  But, oh, that sound- I can’t resist live organic sound.  Something that says, “This is happening, right now, and all of us, both on stage and off are experiencing it as it happens”.  It’s a way of putting your audience in the same room as your actors.  Whether they want to be there, or not….

– Nate Beynon

“In Medieval Times…” Well, no. That’s not the line, not exactly. But that’s what got said. And since it was Hollie saying it, I get a sudden image of Hollie’s Agnes at Medieval Times, brandishing a turkey leg, smiling an angelic, goofy smile and cheering on the black knight to victory. I smother a bout of church giggles, and move on. The giggles happen to me when my mind can’t handle something ridiculously awful. When I was in school, they bubbled up at the sight of a mentally disabled girl who hobbled into class on a crutch one day- because the powers that be decided one handicap just wasn’t enough. In this case, it isn’t Hollie so much as the situation in which her character finds herself: Agnes is a young innocent, unschooled, who truly believes she must loose weight or God won’t love her. Add to that an unexplainable traumatic event, and it makes it all just a bit much. This whole play runs the risk of all being just a bit much, of course. It’s not; It wouldn’t be so we regarded if it was simply over-the-top melodrama, but all the blood and agony and secrets and hypnotism scenes for goodness’ sake!- It reminds me that every moment of Agnes of God must be examined, and performed as it’s own separate point in time, without any preconceptions or expectations. And if we giggle a bit, well, stranger things have happened.

– Nate Beynon

First reading of Agnes of God.  Excited to finally start this journey, especially with such able traveling companions. From left to right, Kathleen Reilly, our Dr. Livingstone, Robin Leary, reading Mother Miriam, the indispensable Nick Himmelwright, our stage manager, and Hollie Miller on the right, who’s tackling the role of Sister Agnes.    It’s a wonderfully exhilarating feeling, hearing these three amazing actresses knock the text out of the park, just sitting there at the table.  Each has a distinct voice, and a very clear idea of who their character is, already, and you can sense what this trio will sound like after the show has been put up on it’s feet.  It won’t happen over night, of course, and there will be certainly still be challenges, but, as they say, “We have a show”.

– Nate Beynon