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Santaland Diaries – Call for Auditions


Monday October 10th and Tuesday October 11th at 7pm
Confetti Stage, Inc.
67 Corning Pl, Albany, New York 12207

Show runs at the Linda Friday December 9th and Saturday December 10th.

This December, Confetti Stage will present David Sedaris’ curdled classic, The Santaland Diaries. For everyone who gets nautious at the mere mention of “Dominick the Donkey”, “Black Friday Door-busters”, and “That one must-have toy of the season!”, here is the Christmas show that understands, and provides an antidote to Holiday Overload.

The Santaland Diaries is a wicked comedy detailing one man’s time working as an elf in the very special purgatory that is, was, and will always be Macy’s Santaland. Adapted from real-life experiences, the show’s hero tells a story of horrible children, worse parents, long hours of cheek-breaking smiles, dashed attempts at love and fortune, and then, possibly, a moment of surprising revelation.

This is a fabulously dark comedy, a true joy to perform, and the one holiday show this season that doesn’t need an insulin chaser.

Cast: David.

This is a one-man show. David can be anywhere from mid-twenties to “none of your buisness”. The important thing is, he’s old enough to be at home with his bitterness, but still young enough to believe he has a shot at landing a role on “One Life To Live”. He’s sarcastic, depressed, desperate, angry, and game for almost any work. He’s funny and smart and strong enough to power through horrible situations.

Auditionees are welcome to prepare a short section of Mr. Sedaris’ writing for performing in lieu of a monolog. Please try to find something besides Santaland Diaries. Memorization is not necesary, and copies of the writer’s work will be on hand at auditions.

Confetti Fest 12 – Call for Auditions

Confetti Stage seeks actors and crew for our 12th annual short play festival!  This year we have selected 5 original works by local playwrights to showcase in our 12th season opening show.  For years, Confetti Stage has been devoted to developing new works and local talent, and Confetti Fest 12 is the hallmark of our collaborative and creative process.


Monday, August 22nd & Tuesday, August 23rd

6:30pm sign-in; 7:00pm audition start

Albany Masonic Hall, 67 Corning Place, downtown Albany

Actors should prepare a 1-2 minute monologue. It does not have to be memorized.  Monologues will be available at the auditions for cold readings.   Actors may also be asked to read selected sides from the plays.  Actors of all ethnicities, ages, and genders are encouraged to audition for the 20+ roles, character descriptions below are suggestions.

Performance dates:

Performances will be held October 7-9 and 13-16 (7:30pm for Thurs-Sat performances; 2:00pm for Sundays)

Tech week schedule to be determined during rehearsals, but actors are expected to clear their schedules the weekend and week before opening.

Please come to auditions prepared with your scheduling conflicts.

Please contact Linda Shirey at with any questions.



By Kate Carter

directed Patricia Keister

Death receives an unexpected visitor.

Characters (1M, 1 M or F):

DEATH (Sam): Could be played by a man or a woman.  Death does his/her job well and quietly, taking pleasure in the small rewards.  He/she has an odd, dry sense of humor.

JOHN MILLS: The father of a willful and adorable five-year-old girl who he loves very much.  John is a very curious and strong-willed man.



by Stephen Henel

directed by Mark Dalton

Funny Voices is about the children of a voice actor connecting with his memory through the ads and cartoons he recorded in life.  As they play their father’s recordings, we see their father in the recording booth, struggling with the challenges of his career and the regrets of his family life.

Characters (1F, 2M, possible multiple M/F):

LARRY THOMAS: Voice actor best known for starring in “Cosmus of the Cosmos,” an animated serial for children.  He is brusque and affable, but has a mean streak as well.

VOICE DIRECTORS: They are all separate characters, but can be played by the same actor or actress.

BETTY: Larry’s daughter. Survivor of an abusive marriage and mother of a young boy, Kenneth.  She has had a troubled relationship with Larry, and is somewhat resentful of her brother for not being more present after their father’s health took a turn for the worse.

BARNEY: Larry’s son.  He’s the drummer in a moderately successful metal band.  He left home at an early age, and while he bears little malice for his father, he also avoids spending any time with him.



by Julie Demers

directed by Tony Pallone

It’s hard to be different when you had thought you were all different together.

Characters (5F; 4M, possible casting of multiple parts):

CASSIE: The main character, in her teens or early 20s, kind and hopeful, a bit naïve

MOTHER: 40s, wants the best for her daughter in her own way

FATHER: 40s, wants the best for his daughter in his own way

GIRL: typical 10-year-old

BOY: college-age boy, oblivious

MISSY: sweet and curious 13-year-old

KID: typical 12-year-old

MISSY’S MOTHER: 40s, overprotective

GUY ON SUBWAY: cross-dresser with spunk

Note: It is best if the cast are all adults.  Actors may be cast to play more than one part.



by Valerie Kavanaugh

directed by Matthew Teichner

From the mundane to the sublime, switchblades to French horns, dejection to ecstasy, this blind date has it all.

Characters (2F, 1M):

WOMAN: Able to play 40s

MAN: Able to play 40s

WAITRESS: any age



by Amy Sarah LaMena

directed by David Braucher

Well-traveled newlyweds, Ken and Marcy, are thrown into turmoil as a parasite diagnosis shines light on a crack in their near-symbiotic marriage.

Characters (1F, 1M, 1 M or F):

KEN: 50-55, A devoted world traveler, Ken rejects everything about his old, pencil-pushing life.  He adores his new wife, Marcy, but can be myopic and pushy in pursuit of his own goals.

MARCY: 40-45, A practical woman swept up in the whirlwind romance offered by Ken.  His lust for travel is putting a strain on her, as is the parasite in her leg.

DOCTOR: male or female, any age, A busy ER physician who attempts to treat his patient depite the surrounding marital drama.

The Comedy of Errors – Antipholus of Syracuse

egpromo-1Kasey Kenyon has a repertoire of goggle-eyed masks of surprise the way Eskimos have a vocabulary for different kinds of snow. This, it turns out, is fortunate. This is a farce with lots of characters, each one a precisely placed cog in the plot’s machinery. How does the actor keep who’s who and what’s what as straight as possible? “Reading through the play,” he says. “Reading through the play…numerous times.” Which makes sense. In Shakespeare, almost all of an actor’s questions can be answered by the text. “Who am I?”, “What do I?”, “Which one is that one and who do I think she is, again?” He’s playing a character searching for a family lost, and there are some that’ve lept through all sorts of hoops to achieve that. It’s just this time it’s funny. His character, Antipholus of Syracuse, spends most of the play hurtling from one surprising encounter to another, either pampered by strangers for no discernible reason, or chased by people he takes for witches and sorcerers. The island of Ephesus, it appears, has been infested by magical madmen, and he simply wants to find his long-lost family, then leave. Happily for us, his journey is anything but simple.

– Nate Beynon

The Comedy of Errors – The Abbess

IMG_0530Debora Bercier is tall for her height and she takes the stage the way the way Columbus must have taken the New World: “With all due respect to those that were here already, ” she seems to say, “All this is mine, now.”
What she actually says, is, “The venom clamors of a jealous woman poisons more deadly than mad dog’s tooth.  It seems his sleeps were hindered by thy railing, and there-of comes it that his head is light.”  She says more.  The other woman, the wife of a man who seems to have been made mad, shrinks under the heat of the Abbess’s feverish scorn.  I ask Debbie why the Abbess is so feisty.  She tells me, her character “…never had the desire to be a nun, but was forced into it, and so she feels resentful.  She wanted to be a wife and mother.  And she’s bored with her vocation as an Abbess.  There are very few nuns or children to take care of.  Certainly no men!  But… now, for the first time, a man has come into her domain.  An opportunity to truly protect and minister to this man, and no-one will prevent her from experiencing this.”  The woman who the Abbess is yelling at isn’t that different from her, she tells me, “She just has the life I wanted!”
Farce, of course, is the great equalizer-it throws people of every class into one monumentally ridiculous tangle of surprises , punishes the wicked, rewards the good, and marries off the young people.  Who knows-the Abbess may get her husband and child before the day is through…
– Nate Beynon

Elephant’s Graveyard – Three Ring Circus

steamshovellerThere are many trinities involved in Elephant’s Graveyard. The first lines of the play let you know it’s a story about a Town, a Circus, and an Elephant.
Ever since we started rehearsal, Elephant’s Graveyard has been a three ring circus. However, the featured acts are constantly shifting. When we first began the project, it was a script, it was a couple of directors, and it was a room full of actors. As we labored to bring this show to life, our world became the words, the blocking, and the sounds. As we progressed through teamwork and focus, the three rings were soon occupied by vivid characters, story, and setting.
It’s still a three ring performance. We have our town and we have our circus. But on opening night, our third ring will be occupied by an audience. An audience that will be challenged to think about what they’ve seen, what they’ve heard, and above all else, what they’ve felt along the way. It’s a lot to take in, but believe me, once the lights dim, we are all in this show together, and together we’ll see it through to the end.
– Stephen Henel (Steam Shovel Operator)

Auditions – The Comedy of Errors

2688212829_710e72d87c_oConfetti Stage, in collaboration with Ten Broeck Mansion, announces auditions for

by William Shakespeare
Directed by John A. Nickles

Auditions Dates & Times:
Monday, May 16th & Wednesday, May 18th
6:30pm sign-in; 7:00pm audition start

Audition Location:
The Albany Masonic Hall
67 Corning Place
Albany, NY  12207

Performance Dates:
August 5-6 & 11-13 @ 7:30pm
August 7 & 14 @ 2:00pm
(Tech week July 31-August 4; specific schedule to be determined in rehearsal)

Confetti returns to the beautiful gardens at Ten Broeck Mansion this summer to present a classic farce by Shakespeare.

The Comedy of Errors is one of William Shakespeare’s early plays. It is his shortest and one of his most farcical comedies,
with a major part of the humor coming from slapstick and mistaken identity, in addition to puns and word play. It has been
adapted for opera, stage, screen and musical theatre.

The Comedy of Errors tells the story of two sets of identical twins that were accidentally separated at birth. Antipholus of Syracuse and his servant, Dromio of Syracuse, arrive in Ephesus which turns out to be the home of their twin brothers, Antipholus of Ephesus and his servant, Dromio of Ephesus. When the Syracusans encounter the friends and families of their twins, a series of wild mishaps based on mistaken identities lead to wrongful beatings, a near-seduction, the arrest of Antipholus of Ephesus, and false accusations of infidelity, theft, madness, and demonic possession.

Actors should prepare a short Shakespearean monologue (comic or tragic).Does not need to be memorized. Headshots and resumes are not required.  Some physical activity, including slapstick, will be necessary for this show.  All roles are open, and actors of all ages, gender, and ethnicities are encouraged to audition.

Any questions please contact director John A. Nickles at

CHARACTERS (some characters will be doubled):

Antipholus of Syracuse, merchant and twin

Antipholus of Ephesus, merchant and twin (N.B. The Antipholuses should look somewhat alike.)

Dromio of Syracuse, long-suffering servant and twin

Dromio of Ephesus, long-suffering servant and twin (N.B. The Dromios need not look ANYTHING alike.)

Adriana, fed-up wife of Antipholus of Ephesus

Luciana, philosophical sister to Adriana

Solinus, Duke (or Duchess) of Ephesus

Egeon, merchant and father to the Antipholuses

Abbess, later revealed to be Emilia, wife of Egeon and mother to the Antipholuses

1st Merchant, friend to Antipholus of Syracuse (will be doubled)

Angelo (or Angela), a goldsmith

2nd Merchant, to whom Angelo is in debt

Balthasar, yet another merchant

Doctor Pinch, schoolmaster and would-be wizard (may double with Balthasar)

Luce, maid to Adriana

Courtesan, a courtesan

Jailer, an officer of the Court

Elephant’s Graveyard – Voices

Someone once told me that the loneliest person in the room is the director. I have often thought about that statement.  I have never really felt that way.  If anything, I have always felt crowded – especially this time, working with such a big cast
My head always seems to be full of voices. Whether they are the voices of the characters, the actors, or the production team, someone is always speaking to me.  The voices, if I listen, tell me so much.  They inform me when an actor is lost and confused.  Or if I’m lucky, that the actor’s lightbulb went on and they discovered something wonderful and unexpected.  The voices might be conversations that I overheard earlier but was not a part of.  They might just be crazy voices and well…let’s just leave that be.
The point is, every second I have the good fortune to be in a rehearsal, at a production meeting, or taking a ride in the elevator to the theatre, I may hear a new voice with insightful creative information that will open the door to a magical directorial moment.  Am I really the loneliest person in the room?  No!  Maybe at times the craziest, but never lonely.  If I have learned anything over my blessed years of being a director it is to listen to all of the voices and take all of what they tell me and make it my own.  So…voices keep visiting me!  When the silence and loneliness does come….well let’s leave that be as well!
– Linda Shirey

Elephant’s Graveyard – Choosing a Character

Beard_Jefferson_Deputy_Snohomish-CtyNormally, when you audition for a play, if you are chosen the director tells you what part you are playing first thing. Linda [the director] didn’t do it that way. Although she obviously had some ideas about who would play what role, she had us read the play without giving us parts. That way we would focus on the play as a whole and the cast as an ensemble without highlighting our own lines (and counting how many we had). After we had read the play, she asked us which characters we felt drawn to. I was at the end of the circle and noticed that no one had said the Marshal, so I chose that character. And indeed, I ended up playing the Marshal. He is a character I would not have normally auditioned for, but he is a challenging and interesting role. I feel this production will be theatrical magic.
– John A. Nickles, Town Marshal

Elephant’s Graveyard – Lady Muse

The Muses of Comedy and Tragedy
The Muses of Comedy and Tragedy

Last night, I was visited by Lady Muse.  “What the H-E-double-L are you doing?!”  Lady Muse loves to point out my directorial flaws whenever she gets the opportunity. Every show I have ever directed, she appears at some point and tells me how I am messing things up.  This time, she pointed out how I am not LISTENING to the heartbeat of the play.  She knows that I haven’t felt right about setting the first moment of the show, which for me sets the whole play in motion. Lady Muse went on.  She reminded me to quiet my anxiety and read the play again. Then, she said, put my butt in the audience and watch the play unfold.  “Listen…watch…and then go do your job.” As Lady Muse was about to leave, she did say good job on gathering a super production team and a mighty fine cast! Then poof, she was gone!  Go do my job! Yep! Now if I could only get her to visit me during daytime hours, my anxiety might quiet itself down!

Anyway… onward we go…
– Linda Shirey

Elephant’s Graveyard – First Rehearsal

IMG_3443Once again, I am reminded that one brain does not make a show! Elephant’s Graveyard has opened the great circus tent of wonderful, imaginative, creative, opinionated, performers,writers and designers. When I begin a show, I feel childlike. I am never quite sure where the show will take me. I always have a knuckle of an idea, but that idea is transformed into magical wonderment after hearing the voices of the actors who will play the parts, and listening to the designers that will make the vision come to life. Elephant’s Graveyard is a very difficult piece to work on because of its subject matter. But I am blessed having so many talented folks supporting this show. Just like a trapeze artist, I am ready to fly. Onward we go!

– Linda Shirey